Welcome to #TransTuesday! Today’s topic is LEGALLY CHANGING YOUR NAME AND GENDER MARKER. My experience in California is going to be remarkably different than in other parts of the country/world however, so keep that in mind!
Last Wednesday, May 19, my documents were dropped off at the courthouse to start the legal process of getting my name and gender marker changed. What you probably don’t realize, and I certainly didn’t, is that it’s going to be a very. long. process.
It actually started two days prior on Monday, May 17… though honestly it began even months before that as I looked into what would be required. I read a bunch of information about it, and ended up on the LA Superior Court website trying to figure out how to get started.
But there’s no easy guideline or checklist of things, with links to the right forms and how/where/when to file them. You’re kind of left to your own devices, and even here in California where the process is probably about as friendly as it can get, it was overwhelming.
And here’s where living in Los Angeles gave me a cheat code through this ordeal, because we have the lovely Los Angeles LGBT Center. And they have a Trans Wellness Center, with an expert who will just… help you with your paperwork. FOR FREE.
I thought that was pretty amazing, but it was actually even better than I could have imagined because I answered 10 quick questions on a form, and they just DID ALL THE PAPERWORK FOR ME. Again, FREE OF CHARGE. So 30 minutes later I had everything I needed to get going.
As an aside, just stepping into the Trans Wellness Center was… something. An entire floor of a 20-story building JUST for trans people, staffed by trans people. Friendly and welcoming and I was super at ease as soon as I stepped off the elevator. Such an amazing resource.
Not only was I given all the paperwork I needed, but a packet with step by step instructions about what to do next. Before I get ahead of myself, let’s look at what’s in this paperwork to petition the court for a name and gender marker change.
The first document that’s required was a total surprise to me, though it makes sense. You have to testify that you’re not a sex criminal or a felon trying to evade the law or trying to change your name to evade debts, etc.
Now we get to the actual form for changing the stuff I want changed, though it’s no less intimidating or full of dense legalese that’s hard to make sense of. This document is four pages (five if you count the list of places and methods to file the form).
This is the key portion, with… some redactions.
Both original forms are signed and dated, then you make two copies of each. You put all of those along with a check or money order for the FOUR HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FIVE DOLLAR COURT FILING FEE and a SASE (legal size) into an envelope and mail it to the courthouse (or drop it off).
There are (here in LA County anyway) fee waiver forms you can fill out if you are unable to pay. I don’t know what’s involved with those, but it’s great they exist.
This Monday I got the original forms back in my SASE, the court keeps both of the copies. The originals are stamped showing they were received by the city clerk, with the court case number (which you can check on the status of online here in LA), and a court date.
The packet of next steps I was given by the Trans Wellness Center said most often you are not called in for the court date, unless the judge who has to approve the order has questions or a problem of some kind.
If you DO have to go in, it’ll be in a joint session with people there to change their names for every other reason as well. The packet says if you’re concerned about privacy you can request to go to the end of the queue, though whether that’s granted or not is up to the court.
This hearing could also be to “correct any deficiencies in your petition,” which the court *may* help you with. Kinda terrifying, though. Also, and here’s the fun part, this court date is weeks away. And anyone who objects has until then to file an objection. (!!!)
I presume this is something that’s done for all petitions to the court? I don’t know as I’ve never done one before, but maybe as a way for the public to voice their objections to things? But it also seems like maaaaaaybe that shouldn’t apply for name/gender marker changes.
Because how would ANYONE have the right to object to who you want to legally be recognized as?!? That’s kind of like saying I CAN change my name and gender marker, but only if all of society is okay with it and gives me permission. Not a great feeling!
If the judge approves the request, it gets signed (and hopefully sent back to me? this part is unclear). I can then request certified copies from the Civil Clerk’s Office. Which cost about FIFTY-FIVE BUCKS EACH.
And this becomes the most important document in your life, because it shows the legal connection between your old name and your new name. I will have to take one (not a copy!) to the Social Security Administration to get their info (and my SS card) changed/updated.
I’ll need to take another copy to the DMV, to prove I am who I say I am, and get an updated driver’s license with the correct name and gender displayed. I’ll need further copies to update a passport and to get my birth certificate changed.
I don’t LEGALLY need to update the birth certificate, but if I don’t, any time I need it for anything I will ALSO need one of these certified copies of the order from the clerk to prove that birth certificate is mine.
I was born in another state, which thankfully has laws in place to allow trans people to change their birth certificates, though not all states allow it. But get this… I can’t do it without A NOTE FROM MY DOCTOR SAYING I AM “UNDERGOING TREATMENT” FOR BEING TRANS.
The actual fuck.
If you’re trans but don’t have access to gender-affirming care, or can’t afford it because your insurance won’t cover it (or you don’t have insurance), you’re out of luck I guess. Just to be clear: THIS IS BULLSHIT AND YOU ARE TRANS EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT MEDICALLY TRANSITIONING.
It says in the packet of info I got that name change proceedings for my birth state are even worse. Get this… GET THIS: You have to PUBLISH NOTICE OF YOUR COURT PETITION IN THE NEWSPAPER. –FOR THREE WEEKS–
And it has to START at least six weeks before the court date, which you don’t even know until after you file the paperwork! What antiquated bullshit nonsense is this? Do you know how fucking dangerous that could be for a trans person?!
And what the fuck business is it of the entire town you live in anyway?! Fucking hell, that’s so damned awful. And this is a state that’s relatively friendly to trans people! Do you see what we’re up against here?
I’m so thankful I’m not trying to change my name there! Part of the packet I have says a “physician’s declaration” is no longer needed in CA to get your gender marker changed… as of September of 2018.
Before that, CA refused to believe you are who you say unless a doctor confirmed your medical transition. It took CALIFORNIA until TWO THOUSAND FUCKING EIGHTEEN to just… believe you actually know who you are. Siiiiiiiiiiiigh.
California didn’t even drop the utterly ludicrous newspaper announcement requirement until 2014! I JUST 😶
Anyway, after driver’s license, birth certificate, and social security are changed, I’m going to need those official court order copies to change my name on our bank account, and our health insurance, and probably a ton of other places too.
And this is why I figure there are going to be more of these threads, as I suspect all of these hoops I have to jump through are going to uncover a whole host of other things I’ll want to talk about.
I was so excited seeing the paperwork go into the courthouse drop box, and I’m excited to know when the court date is, and to get the paper from the court legally confirming I am who I say I am…
But it feels a little like the joy from that will be somewhat muted, because there’s such a long road ahead of getting the entire world to agree with the court and update their records accordingly.
I suspect the new driver’s license will be the big one, though. Because then I’ll have ID that I can use without outing myself as trans to every person who needs to see it for whatever reason.
It’s weird and kind of awful to have to produce your DL for someone, and it has the wrong name and gender and photo on it. And it doesn’t end there, because then you have to TELL them you’re trans and explain the situation.
And this may surprise you, but that’s weirdly not something a lot of trans folks relish having to talk to strangers about! Oh well. One step at a time, I guess.
Look at the costs involved, and all the hoops to jump through, in a very trans-friendly state and with the LA LGBT Center on my side. And think about how tough it is, and how much more difficult it is for trans people not in CA. It’s tough out here.
Tilly Bridges, end transmission.
tillysbridges@gmail.com
ADDENDUMS:
UPDATE! 7/9/2021
Next step is requesting certified copies from the civil clerk’s office, but my documents say to do that after I have the signed decree. Will it be mailed to me, since I filed via mail and did not go in person? Unclear.
Either way on 7/9/2021 I legally became Tilly. 🥰
UPDATE! 7/19/2021
July 16 I paid for several certified copies of the judge’s decree. Social Security office is closed due to covid, so appropriate form and decree mailed in on July 19.
Expected wait for new SS card normally 5-10 days. Now? 3-4 weeks.
So we wait.
UPDATE! 8/16/2021
New SS card arrived in the mail today, Aug. 16!
Next: upload all my Real ID docs through the DMV website (this is unrelated to any of my changes, just normal requirements).
Once those are approved, I go in with my SS card and judge’s decree and get my new ID as ME!
UPDATE! 8/19/2021
Portrait of a lady who filed name/gender change paperwork with the DMV. It went smooth as hell. Thanks to @susanlbridges for accompanying in case anyone gave me shit, and for capturing this pic of my arm looking great.
Now we wait for the Real ID to arrive!
UPDATE: 9/1/2021
GOT MY NEW REAL ID LICENSE YESTERDAY!
I am torn on the photo. It’s not great, and does make me feel a little dysphoric. I was going to post it side by side with my old one, but not sure I’m comfortable.
So instead just know my real name is on it! 💜 oh and also:
UPDATE: 12/19/2022
I waited years to do this. You don’t use birth certificates very often and I didn’t think it would be a big deal. But finally I sent in the forms and the check to pay for the change/one copy in early October 2022 and nothing happened for two months. I was trying to prepare myself to have to fight for my right to be listed as me on my own birth certificate.
But then on Dec. 15, 2022… the check finally cleared. I almost cried. Why? What the heck? The judge’s order declaring my legal name/gender marker change, my driver’s license, those meant a lot.
But this? it shows the date, time, and location of my birth and it says I WAS ME THE SECOND I WAS BORN.
I did not expect all these feelings.
