Welcome to #TransTuesday! This week I’m bringing back another old thread with a revision/update, because frankly current events demand it. So buckle up, because we’re talking about: TRANS KIDS (but this also relates to: THE INTAKE EXAM).
I didn’t know I was trans as a kid, even though the signs were all there. So I never got to experience what that’s like, and cannot speak from personal experience. But I do know what it feels like to be a kid and be trans, because trans is something I’ve always been.
Caveat: the intake exam may be called different things and be wildly different depending on the medical system, or part of the country/world a trans person is in. Please do not take my experience as evidence that it’s identical for every trans person.
This is an article I linked to back in early December of 2020. This was a HORRIBLE ruling, and look how much ink the notably-transphobic BBC gives to “getting it wrong” and “detransitioning” with barely a mention to the thoughts of actual trans people:
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-55144148
Things have sadly only gotten much, MUCH worse since then, as attacks on trans people, specifically trans kids, have ramped up to an all-time high. Have a look at how bad things are for trans kids in the US RIGHT NOW:
https://freedomforallamericans.org/legislative-tracker
Browse through there. DO IT. Look at what Republicans are doing. Banning trans kids from sports. Banning life-saving health care for trans kids. Making it a crime to help a trans kid be happy and comfortable in their own body.
Note “life-saving care” IS NOT FUCKING HYPERBOLE. “Data indicate that 82% of transgender individuals have considered killing themselves and 40% have attempted suicide, with suicidality highest among transgender youth.”
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32345113
And it’s not BEING TRANS that makes trans adults and trans kids suicidal, it’s HOW IMPOSSIBLE SOCIETY MAKES IT TO EXIST AS A TRANS PERSON IN THIS WORLD that is responsible for that.
The American Medical Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, all oppose all this anti-trans legislation and ALL OF THEM AGREE THAT GENDER-AFFIRMING CARE IS NECESSARY AND LIFE-SAVING.
https://www.aclu.org/news/lgbtq-rights/doctors-agree-gender-affirming-care-is-life-saving-care
But bigoted old Republicans think they know better than every medical professional. Does that sound familiar? With abortion rights? With COVID? Fucking atrocious.
I feel like I don’t even know where to start with this. It’s horrific, and if you don’t understand why… let’s start with a refresher on GENDER DYSPHORIA, and realize first that many trans kids are going through this, and many have it worse than I do.
So what happens when a kid of any age realizes they’re transgender and wants to transition? It’s obviously a very big decision, and it can be difficult for kids (especially the younger ones) to fully grasp everything that entails and the way life would change.
But you see, medical professionals… know that. They don’t take a trans kid and send them off for surgery. NO TRANS KIDS ARE GETTING SURGERY. But intersex kids? Republicans WANT to perform surgery on them to make them conform to the gender binary.
https://www.hrw.org/report/2017/07/25/i-want-be-nature-made-me/medically-unnecessary-surgeries-intersex-children-us#
Bills banning gender-affirming care for trans kids have been scuttled, BY REPUBLICANS, because the wording would have prevented surgeries they want to force on intersex kids, and they absolutely cannot have that. I mean… the fucking hypocrisy of it all.
Transitioning for kids largely involves social transitioning only… wearing clothing that reflects their true gender, name/pronoun changes, things of that nature. But some, probably many, also go on puberty blockers.
Now I can hear you saying… kids can’t make that decision! I mean, they CAN actually, but… did you know puberty blockers are safe, have been used for cis kids for DECADES to stop “precocious puberty,” and are NOT PERMANENT?
https://www.vice.com/en/article/epnzjk/no-one-had-a-problem-with-puberty-blockers-when-only-cis-kids-took-them
When you stop taking the blockers, your body goes right back to making the hormone that was blocked. The puberty that was put on hold is no longer on hold, and happens normally. IT HAS NO PERMANENT EFFECTS WHATSOEVER.
And they have to reach a certain age (early teens I think, but may vary based on where you are) before they can even begin taking blockers, let alone add in the hormones that will help affirm their gender. And the whole point is to GIVE THEM THE TIME to make that decision.
So why not make kids wait to take it until they’re 18? Yeah, let’s talk about that. Because by 18 a lot of the body changes caused by hormones have already happened!
Let’s look at my case, as a trans woman. If I’d known I was trans, and had access to testosterone blockers BEFORE I hit puberty, the blockers would have STOPPED PUBERTY. Temporarily!
For me, guess what that meant? By 18 my shoulders had broadened. My voice had deepened. My jawline had become more pronounced. I got a lot taller. I developed a lot of body hair and facial hair, BOTH OF WHICH are the absolute worst parts of my own gender dysphoria. see the trans tuesday on BODY HAIR.
And the three-part series on TRANS VOICES.
I mean you’re all familiar with what testosterone does to a body during puberty, you get the drift. If I’d had access to puberty blockers before that happened… think about all the dysphoria I have that could have been avoided. Those bodily changes WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED.
Forcing a trans kid to go through a puberty that antithetical to their gender identity is cruel. It’s torture. It’s forcing their body to change in ways that will make it MORE difficult for them to transition in the future, and will dramatically worsen their dysphoria.
And again, dysphoria often comes with intense depression and anxiety and a lot of other mental health issues, including self-harm and sometimes people feeling like suicide is their only way out.
Imagine kids already on puberty blockers, who’ve socially transitioned. A 14 year old Tilly would’ve had no facial hair, been shorter, had narrower shoulders, a higher voice. She’d be dressing as a girl, and treated as one BECAUSE SHE WOULD *BE* A GIRL in the eyes of everyone.
And suddenly, without any warning or recourse, you take her puberty blockers away “for her own good”.
And now this 14 year old girl gets facial hair and a deep voice and her jaw and shoulders widen and what the FUCK do you think that is going to do to her? How is that helping her?? You’re turning her into the last thing she wants to be.
It’s fucking unconscionable. Especially given that if she discovers she’s not actually trans, she can stop the puberty blockers and experience male puberty without any issues whatsoever! This is so fucking ludicrous I can’t even believe it.
And here’s where we get into the INTAKE EXAM, because I think this is what most cis folks have literally no idea about. Now there are places in this country that have informed consent for trans people… you go in, certify that you consent to the treatment, and you get treated.
Here’s a map of the places that offer informed consent for trans healthcare. Despite how many there may seem to be, realize that out of all the places medical care is provided, it is still a VAST MINORITY.
https://twitter.com/ErinInTheMorn/status/1477107291920941060
What does informed consent look like for kids? It’s something the entire medical establishment has rules for dealing with for everything related to kids and their medical care, transgender-related or not.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12884032/#:~:text=Informed%20consent%20means%20approval%20of,his%20or%20her%20autonomous%20consent
Okay so if a medical provider does not have informed consent for gender-affirming healthcare, what does that look like? Well let me tell you about what it was like for me. I could have found an informed consent provider, there are several here in Los Angeles.
But they would not have been covered by my insurance. We have Kaiser, and as they are an insurer AND medical provider, you go with them unless they specifically send you somewhere else. And gender affirming care paid for out of pocket is just not feasible for many trans folks.
The first thing that happened when I told my doctor I was transgender and wanted to transition was her referring me to a psychologist. Not because she thought being transgender is a mental illness, but because it’s policy.
A large part of the reason is that mental illness can often accompany gender dysphoria, so of course they want to check for that and be sure you get whatever help you may need on that front. Which is good and I absolutely understand and appreciate that.
But… they also want to “make sure” you’re trans (my words there, not theirs). They wouldn’t even CONSIDER referring me to an endocrinologist to begin HRT until I had my intake exam with the psychologist.
And this psychologist is a specialist in gender and transitioning. She’s my go-to for any other referrals I need for other services related to transitioning. Voice therapy, laser/electrolysis hair removal, and even gender confirmation surgeries.
So how did this very kind and nice lady determine I was trans? We had a very long phone call (because covid), and she had a billion questions to ask me.
And.
I.
Had.
To.
Justify.
My.
Existence.
As.
A.
Woman.
I want you to please sit with that a moment. Have you ever had to convince someone you’re a man or a woman? How would you do that? HOW? Especially when you can’t reduce it to your secondary sexual characteristics.
I mean even outside of being trans, the entire point of feminism is that women (or ANYONE) CANNOT be reduced to nothing but their reproductive organs. We, ALL OF US, are more than the sex junk we were born with.
I had to dig up every memory I could find, in the course of my years of self-examination, where looking back now I can see they were signs of my dysphoria, of my longing to be the girl or woman I knew I was. I had to prove to a total stranger that I AM WHO I SAY I AM.
Does that scare you? It should. It fucking scared me. Because what if I didn’t say the right thing? What if because my dysphoria revolves mostly around my face and my body hair, and not my genitals, she decided I wasn’t “trans enough” to transition?
It’s just terrifying and awful. It’s a nightmare. And I get why it’s important, but it’s also just absolutely horrible to go through. I don’t know how to tell you what it’s like. I can’t find the words for it.
And what you have to understand is the vast majority of trans kids who want puberty blockers, all of those kids already on puberty blockers… they all go through varying versions of this.
And a doctor, a psychologist trained in gender and transitioning, has listened to them and made the medical determination that it’s in the patient’s best interest to be on those puberty blockers. Especially given, AGAIN, they make no permanent changes to the body!
So what right does any government have to interfere in a matter between patients and their doctors? If you’re seeing stark parallels between trans folks and their transition care, and cis women/trans men and their right to choice… yeah, weird huh? Maybe think about why that is.
Every trans kid has ALREADY done more self-examination than I’d bet a whole lot of cis adults do in their entire lives. And I’m so thankful some of them have safe home environments in which to do that, but I know also that many do not. I certainly didn’t.
And don’t give me bullshit about supportive environments, or being exposed to the very idea/existence of trans people, as being “brainwashing” or whatever the fuck you want to call it. Hey cis folks, how much trans acceptance would make YOU suddenly not feel like a man or woman?
Is it zero? Of course it’s fucking zero. It’s not something you decide, it’s something you ARE. No amount of exposure is going to make you cis people suddenly trans, just as no amount of exposure to cis people is going to suddenly make trans people cisgender.
It doesn’t fucking work that way, and you know it. You never decided you were cis, you never decided you were straight or gay. Discover? Sure! Decide? No. These aren’t choices! They’re facts of existence.
Remember my post on WHAT REAL CIS ACCEPTANCE LOOKS LIKE? Goes double for trans kids. Triple. Infinite quadruple (I’m making that a thing, everybody start saying it to back me up).
This got a bit heavy, but I guess that’s to be expected. Let’s end it on an up note. Please read this, from the parent of a trans child, about what it’s like for them… and what a difference acceptance makes.
https://michellerothbaade.medium.com/three-things-i-wish-everyone-knew-about-having-a-transgender-child-b5b32c0c47c4
Here’s your reminder that there aren’t enough trans people to effect legislative change on our own. Cis allies, this fight is yours too. IT HAS TO BE, or these kids are going to suffer and many will never make it to adulthood.
See the trans tuesday on PERFORMATIVE ALLYSHIP, and don’t let that be you. See the interlinked threads about what real allyship looks like.
And see the trans tuesday on TRANS POLITICS and how vital it is that YOU (yes YOU) help us.
Donate to the charities fighting all this bigoted legislation. Vote for people who believe we deserve equal rights. And there’s something else I’m going to ask you to do, and all it takes is a few minutes of your time.
Join #letters4transkids so they know you’ve got their backs. This is just as important for cis people to do, they need to know you’re out there fighting for them.
https://twitter.com/TillyBridges/status/1513996153242599424
https://www.facebook.com/535350732/posts/10159481733305733
SUPPORT TRANS KIDS. They need us.
They need YOU.
Tilly Bridges, end transmission.
tillysbridges@gmail.com