Welcome to Trans Tuesday! This week we cover a topic that shouldn’t need covering at all, but some people are determined to remain purposefully ignorant. So let’s answer the question: WHY IS THERE NO CIS PRIDE?
Okay listen, I’ve got to tell you… I wasn’t even sure how to approach this topic, because it’s so blindingly obvious to me that it almost defies explanation. But these essays are here to educate, to help people find community, to maybe give trans, nonbinary, and queer people something to point to when you need an explainer for someone and aren’t sure how to word it.
And so here I am, trying to word it, because I’m a writer and my job is words.
I don’t believe that this is going to sway anyone who’s a bigot through and through, because they look for excuses to justify their hate. They didn’t logic, science, or facts their way into hate (because you can’t, science has a very real liberal bias for a reason, babes), and so logic, science, and facts aren’t going to logic anyone out of their hate.
But there are cishet folks out there who genuinely don’t know, or who have heard all the anti-trans and anti-queer propaganda, and aren’t sure what to believe. So I’m going to approach this by trying to speak to those who genuinely don’t know, and want to understand, in the hopes those are the exact people I can reach and help.
It can seem to some folks (cisgender, heterosexual, white, and usually men) that if trans and queer people (and women, and Black people, and on and on through people whose identities have been marginalized by society) get days, weeks, or months to celebrate them, to be proud of their identities, cisgender and heterosexual people (and men, and white people) should have days to celebrate themselves too, right? Why don’t they?
I’m going to approach this from the trans angle, as I do for all of these essays because these are trans Tuesdays, but note that it applies to basically every marginalized community in the United States and Europe (and beyond) in similar ways. And if you aren’t aware of how everyone from a marginalized community has more in common than not, and how we all have to be fighting not just for ourselves but also for each other if we ever want to see progress, let TRANS INTERSECTIONALITY enlighten you.
The first thing I think you need to understand, if you don’t already, is that trans people are not new. We’re not a fad. We’re not a “social contagion.” Although the more of us who are out and happy in our lives does make other closeted trans people believe they can do it too, and that’s why Republicans and conservatives are working so hard to erase us from public life (our very existence proves the cis binary, aka THE FALSE DICHOTOMY, is a lie).
Trans people have always existed, since the concept of assigned genders at birth has existed. See TRANS HISTORY 1 on how and why we need to uncover, spot, and name trans people in history so this very thing becomes common knowledge, TRANS HISTORY 2 for examples of trans people in history, and TRANS HISTORY 3 for even more examples of trans people in history from the Trans History: From Ancient Times to the Present Day graphic novel, by Alex L. Combs and Andrew Eakett.
Why is knowing all of this trans history important to understanding why there’s no cishet pride month? Gosh, do I ever have an answer for you, friendos! 🙂
It’s because you (sadly) cannot separate trans history from the way we have been oppressed by society throughout all of that history. We have been discriminated against, we have been removed or hidden from history, we have often been the very first targets of fascist regimes simply because, again, we prove the cisgender binary is a lie, which is what all of white supremacist ideology is founded on. And once you see that lie, (say it with me, I’ve said it so much and I know you know what’s coming), you can see all the other lies society tells us.
And we see that happening again right now, especially in the US and UK, so obviously so that I don’t even need to link you to any news stories about it, because there are hundreds of them everywhere you look, and more direct oppression of trans people is happening everyday.
But it’s also not just the horrible outright fascists doing this, because even when purportedly “liberal” people are running our government, they still uphold so many of the systems of oppression that so many of us face. See TRANS TRAUMA 2: SOCIETAL GASLIGHTING for more on that.
Sometimes that’s because those “liberal” politicians are also actively transphobic, like the long denial that trans and queer people were also forced into concentration camps during WW2, and also how when the allies liberated the camps they left the trans and queer people IN THE FUCKING CAMPS.
But just as often (if not possibly moreso) it’s because of the implicit transphobia they absorbed simply by virtue of being raised in our transphobic society. See IMPLICIT QUEERPHOBIA for more. Many of them uphold the false cisgender binary matrix of society without even realizing that’s what they’re doing. And if you want to learn a whole lot more about what that does to us trans people, and even to the cis people who uphold our oppression without realizing, see THE MATRIX AND ITS TRANS ALLEGORIES (in episode 26 of the Tilly’s Trans Tuesdays podcast) and my book BEGIN TRANSMISSION: THE TRANS ALLEGORIES OF THE MATRIX.
Trans oppression isn’t just limited to the US or UK and Europe, of course. Here’s an article about the history of worldwide trans oppression.
Here’s an article about the history of oppression trans and queer people have faced in the United States alone, which includes some startling facts, including that more than HALF of us (51%) have faced violence because of who we are.
Here’s a timeline of trans and queer rights throughout American history, going back to the founding of this country (by colonialists who committed genocide and enslaved people), and how it’s been baked into this country since white Europeans arrived.
Okay, so now… take in alllllllll that I’ve said so far, and the information contained in all the linked essays and articles.
Are you maybe now realizing how incredibly oppressed trans people have been for as long as the United States has existed?
So when we have pride month (which can be complicated and difficult sometimes due to how implicitly queerphobic our society is, see RAINBOW CAPITALISM for more), when we have Trans Day of Visibility (which is for all of us, all of us, see YES YOU ARE TRANS ENOUGH), what are they really about?
They’re about trans and queer people being proud to be who we are… specifically because society tells us that who and what we are is a “bad” thing to be.
It is us standing up in the face of oppression and saying you cannot change me. You cannot force me to hide. You cannot make me deny the truth of who I am.
WE DESERVE EQUAL RIGHTS BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING WHO WE ARE.
So, cisgender person reading this, heterosexual person reading this, white person reading this, men reading this… think about when was the last time you were oppressed by all of society (even the “good” people), because of being cisgender? Because of being heterosexual? Because of being white? Because of being a man?
The true answer to that is: never.
Because our entire society revolves around saying that white cisgender heterosexual men are the best thing there is. Literally everything in our society, as built and established by white cisgender heterosexual men, is set up to affirm you in who you are.
You specifically didn’t set up society this way, of course, but you do benefit from it. And that’s the literal definition of PRIVILEGE. (see CIS PRIVILEGE for more).
White cisgender heterosexual men are celebrated for who they are, by all aspects of our society, every single day.
And it also breaks down further than that, because all white people (even those of us who experience other marginalizations, like me as a very white trans woman) are privileged to not face the barriers Black people and every person of color faces.
All cisgender people (even those who experience other marginalizations, like women) are privileged to not face the barriers every trans and nonbinary person faces.
All heterosexual people (even those who experience other marginalizations, like women) are privileged to not face the barriers that every gay, lesbian, bi, or person of other non-hetero sexual orientation faces.
All men (even those who experience other marginalizations, like being gay) are privileged to not face the barriers that women and people of every other gender face.
And if you still don’t believe it, here’s one of my favorite examples that I’ve used in some of my TRANS REP IN MEDIA reports for 2022, 2023, and 2024.
Our art is a reflection of us as a society, of who we think it’s important to tell stories about, and who we “allow” to tell those stories. So let’s take movies, that quintessential American artform.
Name cishet white men who are heroes of huge movies and franchises. James Kirk, Luke Skywalker, Jean-Luc Picard, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Superman, Batman, Captain America, Thor, the Hulk, Spider-Man, John Wick, Mad Max, James Bond, and the list goes on and on and on. You could keep going almost literally all day long.
Now do the same simply for cishet white women. Wonder Woman. Black Widow. Ripley. Furiosa. Princess Leia. Rey. Katniss Everdeen. Uh… I’m already struggling to think of them, even though I know there are more.
Now do the same for cishet Black men. Cishet Black women.
Now try it for gay white cis men and women. Gay Black cis men and women.
Now try it for trans people of any variety.
Were you able to name any?
This shows you exactly who our society values most, who it thinks is worth telling stories about, who it thinks is worth “letting” tell their stories by nurturing, supporting, and paying them to do so.
Have your rights ever been debated by the Supreme Court as if they were things maybe you just shouldn’t have, even though you’re a human? No?
A clearer example you’ll never find of who this country oppresses.
Pride month isn’t about denying you anything. Because:
PRIDE MONTH ISN’T ABOUT YOU.
Every other month, week, day, hour, and minute is about you.
There’s no cis pride month, no hetero pride month, no white history month, no men’s pride month, because those people have already set up all of our society so that every single month is already all of those things. (There is an international men’s day, though, even though you arguably don’t need it. Enjoy it!)
Our society also has a long history of telling trans people things are not for us, even when they’re made by us. See THIS IS NOT FOR YOU 2 (let trans people have things) for how a whole lot of cranky babies simply cannot comprehend that two trans women might’ve made a movie about transness.
You don’t need to be ashamed of your identity because of how you were born or are, but there’s also no reason to be proud to be cisgender in this society, because all of it says that is what you are and should be (and is all there is).
You are living what society has errantly deemed as “default” (see CIS IS NOT A SLUR (there is no default human) to learn more, please).
By virtue of who we trans people happen to be, we had to overcome all that society throws in our way to stop us, to oppress us, to hide us, to remove us.
AND WE REFUSED.
WE STOOD UP FOR WHO WE ARE.
AND WE SAID “WE MATTER TOO.”
That is what pride month is about.
That is why there’s no cisgender pride.
WE have to fight just to try and get the same rights and treatment that you have never, ever been denied.
Please remember that it’s okay if not everything is about you.
And it can be tough to come to terms with that, when all of society has told you, for your entire life, that everything is all about you, and that’s how it should be.
But please try to realize how wrong that is.
And how all humans deserve equal human rights.
And for the love of pizza, take it into your heart one more time:
PRIDE MONTH ISN’T ABOUT *YOU*.
AND THAT
IS
OKAY.
Tilly Bridges, end transmission.
tillysbridges@gmail.com