Welcome to #TransTuesday! This week things are gonna get uncomfortable, literally. Strap in (a ha, it is to laugh) because we’re talking about: TUCKING AND BINDING. Cis folks, this one includes activities you can do right in your own home!
Caveat: as a trans woman, binding isn’t something I’ve done or have any experience with. But it’s the other side of the coin so I wanted to mention it. As you might expect, this thread is going to mostly focus on tucking.
Okay soooo what the hell are tucking and binding? Very generally, tucking is what some people who were assigned male at birth (AMAB) do to hide the penis and testicles. Binding is what some people who were assigned female at birth (AFAB) do to hide breasts.
Why on earth would we do that? There’s a few reasons, and it can be a combo of them or even something else entirely. Also trans men and women aren’t the only ones who employ these techniques. Many non-binary, agender, and gender fluid people also do it.
One of the big reasons is gender dysphoria. If a trans woman’s secondary sex characteristics make her dysphoria worse, she might want to hide them just so she doesn’t have to see them and be reminded.
Hiding the penis and testicles provides for a more typically (cis) feminine appearance. Even if a trans woman wants “bottom surgery” to make this not an issue, the wait is often years long. Tucking may help in the meantime.
Also, maybe you’ve never considered this, but women’s clothes are exclusively designed for cis women. Which means there’s not… room in the crotch. FOR STUFF. Which means when wearing women’s clothes, those of us AMAB are faced with some problems.
It can be really uncomfortable, or even downright painful. On top of that, as the clothing wasn’t designed with room for crotch junk, said crotch junk can show in ways clothes designed for cis men might prevent.
And lemme just make it clear that if a trans lady WANTS to show that area off, that’s her business. How many cis men wear pants that are too tight for exactly the same reason? If they get to do it, so do trans women.
But even if a trans woman doesn’t WANT to tuck, it can also be an issue of safety. And I suspect you can imagine the added danger we’d open ourselves up to in public by being a woman who had visible crotch junk under her pants. It’s a big flashing neon I’M TRANS sign.
I’m not ashamed of being trans. I love being trans. I don’t hide it. I’ll probably never really be able to pass for a cis woman anyway, which is an entirely different and complicated issue I talked about in the trans tuesday on MISGENDERING AND PASSING.
But considering the epidemic of violence against trans people, especially us trans women, anything that can minimize that is a good thing. So tucking is also very much a safety issue.
We shouldn’t have to do that just to make ignorant violent cis people leave us alone, should we? Hell no. But this is the society we live in.
Okay okay okay, so now you know why we do it, and (roughly) what it is. And I bet you’re wondering… how… does one do that? Remember when I said there was something you could try right in the comfort of your own home?
Guess what I’m going to ask you to do today! 🌟
Listen. There’s not a lot of being trans that cis people can actually experience for themselves. BUT THIS IS ONE THING YOU CAN. And I want you to. Because it will give you a little more insight into some of the things we deal with.
Alright, CIS DUDES, are you ready? You’re a manly man, nothing to be afraid of! You can do it, I believe in you! Here we go.
Did you know that humans have a little… opening, I guess, for lack of a better word, in the abdomen? It’s called the inguinal canal, and in AMAB folks, it’s basically right under/behind the penis at the top of the scrotum (OH NO WEIRD MEDICAL CROTCH TERMS).
If you gently poke around there you should find it. Here’s where the fun comes in… y’know how your testicles move around in the scrotum? There’s room for them to do that, because they like to party. SO LET’S PARTY.
GENTLY push them up INTO the inguinal canal. I hear your screams from here, but it’ll be fine as long as you’re careful. Spoiler alert: they’ve probably been in there before, like when it’s very cold or at other times when they recede somewhat.
One goes up and in on each side. Then you pull the penis down and back to rest between your butt cheeks. Don’t pull too hard, or too far, or wedge it in there hard or anything. But that’s where it goes.
If ANYTHING HURTS you’re doing it wrong. It should be uncomfortable (DEFINITELY UNCOMFORTABLE), but not painful. If it hurts, undo and try again.
Then you pull your underwear and pants back up, and voila! Your junk be hidden.
Okay, now what? Try walking around. Try bending over. Try SITTING. Now imagine doing that for… an hour. Two hours. Eight hours. Welcome to a tiny portion of the trans woman experience!
Oh and any time you have to pee, guess what? Undo and redo all of it.
Every time.
You may notice things are… popping out. Yep! You have to use things to help hold it all in place… some people use tape (ouch) or sports tape that’s at least meant for skin. Some use a gaffe that goes over the underwear.
There’s even now something called T-tape meant just for this, but I’ve not tried it. What I presently use are underwear with a gaffe sewn right in, specifically made for trans women. They’re called Tuck Buddies and you can find them on Etsy. Highly recommended!
It flattens the front appearance and helps keep everything tucked away without popping out. But I have to remember to put these underwear on if I’m going out, because regular underwear will absolutely not work.
And stop and imagine for a minute if every time you left your home you had to remember to pause and think about what underwear you’re wearing, and then very likely have to go change them just to go to the grocery store. Fun, no?
For cis women to try binding your breasts, well, here I’m at a loss. You know how a sports bra really flattens out the area? That’s a good start. There are binders made for this specific purpose, but they can be expensive.
If any trans men or non-binary folks experienced with binding have tips about ways to safely try at home, please share them! I sincerely hope some cis ladies will give it a shot, just to help better understand what we’re dealing with. You can at least read more about it here:
https://www.prideinpractice.org/articles/chest-binding-physician-guide/
There’s also a flip-side to this. Before hormones made my breasts grow, I wore silicone breast forms in my bra. Why? A couple reasons. One, it lessened my dysphoria. A LOT. It made me look, and more importantly feel, like the real me.
Second, I’ve talked a bit about how buying an entire new wardrobe is… expensive. I touched on that in the trans tuesday on PRIVELEGE (time and money).
So if I bought women’s clothes that fit me when I had no breasts to speak of, they might not fit me anymore when that changes, and I just cannot afford to replace every item of clothing I own twice (much less the ONCE that I already have to).
This meant that grabbing a $30 pair of fake boobs to drop in my bra was the most economical solution to helping me get clothes that will, hopefully, fit me for a while. Even though we all know women’s clothes don’t last that long. I did a trans tuesday on HEAVILY GENDERED CLOTHES AND TRANS PEOPLE.
I don’t use the breast forms anymore, because I don’t need to, which makes me incredibly happy! But I’m so glad they were there for me early on, because they actually really helped.
And for those who were AFAB, the corollary is what’s called a “soft pack,” which is a soft silicone penis and testicles they can situate in their underwear. And they do it for all the exact same reasons.
Are there long-term effects of tucking or binding? There is suspicion that tucking could lead to infertility (this is not a big deal for any trans woman already on hormone replacement therapy, as it already does that). Folks who use binders regularly may end up with back issues.
Would it surprise you to learn nobody really knows? Because we’re not considered important enough for these things to be studied. Hell, almost all of HRT exists because the drugs were developed for OTHER reasons, and then also had applications for trans people.
That’s pretty damned shitty. Read this little thread:
https://twitter.com/EKaleEdmiston/status/1397887783084113924
So if anyone out there in the medical community would like to start specifically studying how these things affect trans folks, or possibly even develop medications actually intended for us first and foremost, that’d be super.
Until then, we’ll keep doing the best we can with what we have, because it’s better than the alternative. Anything we can do to get to a truer us.
Tilly Bridges, end transmission.
tillysbridges@gmail.com
PS – Cis folks! Did you try tucking/binding? I hope so, and I WANT TO KNOW HOW IT WENT.